Four dads from Frome, Somerset, have banded together to form an advocacy group. That’s why their mission is to make sure every new dad gets the critical support they need. Fathers’ Discussion Society Ben Price, Max Morton, Alex Thomas, and Wayne Collins created FDS. They formed this association to counter the alienation they felt while raising their children. The purpose of the initiative is to provide fathers with a safe environment to express their frustrations, challenges and triumphs of being a dad.
The FDS was born during a casual chat while watching football, where the founders recognized a shared need for connection. The coalition has only hosted two brunch-and-learns so far, but already it’s created an active membership of more than 40 people. With every new registrant, interest continues to grow! With each new group of men, the founders hope to see a change for the better. They hope to address some of the stressors that both new papas and their partners experience.
31, described the power of having that collective support, sharing, “Dad chat just kind of oozes into conversations all the time. He highlighted how discussions often revolve around seemingly trivial topics such as the color of a child’s stool or feeding habits, which may not resonate with everyone outside the parenting circle.
Max Morton, who hails from northwest Indiana, described his experience with FDS as “life changing.” He felt, as we all did, that the group allowed him to truly be both “Max” and a father. He noted that conversations often touch on themes of isolation and exhaustion, common issues faced by new fathers navigating their roles during the first months of their child’s life.
Morton noticed a trend where fathers leaned on mothers, saying, “What do we do in this situation? This only serves to make mothers feel like they’re failing, as they too are left without the information readily available to them. This notion rings true with hundreds of fathers who are excluded at medical appointments and talks about their partner’s health.
Wayne Collins expressed similar sentiments of abandonment when his son was born. He told us how he “really struggled” during that time as there was, “no one really to talk to.” He passionately argued for an organized network of positive, father figures as a support system. He proposed, “There needs to be a dad check-up a month or two in to make sure the dads are alright as well.” Such insights illuminate a need for support for men that many dads would consider essential.
Alex Thomas added a tremendous layer, reminding all of us of the deep connections that are formed through shared struggles. He told us, “Having that support network of other dads who are going through the same thing is really powerful. Men can be kind of like little islands, and sometimes it’s nice to build a bridge and connect those islands together.” His words serve as a timely reminder of the powerful role that community can play in reducing the burdens of loneliness.
Even with all of the progress made in maternal mental health in recent years, most dads still report feeling forgotten. FDS’s founders would like to change this story. Join them as they work to build a community where fathers can be real about their challenges and victories.
The proud founding members, still sporting their original white branded t-shirts. They had been extremely successful at community outreach – at encouraging more dads to participate in their focus groups. The twinned group hopes to have monthly cross-Atlantic meet-ups. Perhaps they could increase their outreach to help more fathers who share those same challenges.
