For Caroline Stafford, from her difficult experiences with infertility, she emerged as a determined businesswoman and frontrunner for acceptance. Meeting Gareth in school in Nottinghamshire, the couple envisioned a future filled with children, but their dreams took a different turn after a year of unsuccessful attempts to conceive.
Caroline and Gareth used to live in a big old farmhouse in Rutland. When they found it difficult to conceive, they went to their GP for support. Caroline went through her initial cycle of IVF in the UK, followed by multiple cycles overseas. Despite their hope, they endured the ultimate heartbreak when they suffered a life-shattering miscarriage on Christmas Day. This tragedy fueled an already tenuous relationship Caroline had with her body.
Reflecting on her experience, Caroline remarked, “We’re taught growing up that effort equals results, but it’s often not how it works.” This was a huge turning point for her while going through the emotional rollercoaster of infertility.
With all of her creative might, the couple chased the dream of parenthood. They quickly became burdened by the emotional trauma—the heaviness that accompanied this journey. Caroline explained how the obsessive focus on getting pregnant started to poison her social life and friendships. “I started to not really like how I was feeling towards other people,” she admitted. The burden of that disappointment became blame and cynicism, which closed her world down, making everything seem dark.
In overcoming these obstacles, Caroline found the way forward. During her second round of IVF, she started a side hustle baking and selling biscuits stamped with custom messages. And what started as a one-woman operation has grown into a successful bakery with a staff of 14 employees. Now Caroline’s biscuits are shipped all over the country. They bring joy to hundreds, and through her, they give her a direct line to heaven.
Beyond her bakery, Caroline has joined forces with a mail-order flower company, adding both collaborative creativity and new types of business to her portfolio. This cross-genre collaboration is a testament to her entrepreneurial artistry and willingness to roll with the punches.
Caroline and Gareth have taken on a lot of physical challenges together, running in marathons among others. Caroline has run four half and full marathons and Gareth is in training for his sixth marathon. Together, these activities have deepened their connection immensely. They provide a critical release valve for all the feels as their fertility treatment journey loads them with unimaginable weight.
“Life can still have meaning and it can still have purpose, even when it looks so drastically different from what you expected,” she stated.
Whether you’re a family of two or twenty, daily life with your partner can be rewarding and fun. They root for their friends and family who are parents. “We were absolutely delighted for them, but the truth was, it was the worst thing to hear,” Caroline shared about the mixed emotions that arise when others announce pregnancies.
In her own infertility journey, Caroline didn’t shy away from the challenges and realities of infertility. Today, she is an unapologetic advocate for people like her who are going through the same experience. She encourages others to embrace their unique paths, stating, “I was focusing on this one thing it couldn’t do.”
