Emma Heming Willis, wife of actor Bruce Willis, posted a heartbreaking blog recently addressing the public and the media. She shared what it’s like to care for her husband, who was diagnosed with aphasia in 2022 and frontotemporal dementia in 2023. In her heartfelt essay, she discusses the complexities of navigating the holiday season while managing grief and joy amid significant changes in their family life.
Bruce Willis, known for his roles in iconic films, was diagnosed with aphasia—a condition that impairs the brain’s ability to understand or express language. His family disclosed in early 2023 that he had been suffering from frontotemporal dementia. Behavior and language are greatly affected in this type of dementia. This diagnosis has changed their family’s interactions, most notably around the holidays.
In her blog post, Emma Heming Willis describes Bruce as a “pancake-maker, the get-out-in-the-snow-with-the-kids guy, the steady presence” in their lives. She paints a picture of just how much he loved the holiday season, enjoying the hustle and bustle, family get-togethers, and family traditions. Emma thinks back on how the holidays, although changed, remain a wonderful experience.
“The joy doesn’t cancel out the sadness. The sadness doesn’t cancel out the joy. They coexist.” – Emma Heming Willis
She expresses the pressure caregivers often feel to maintain a sense of “normalcy,” stating, “When dementia is part of your family, ‘normal’ becomes a moving target.” Emma recognizes that the holidays don’t vanish because of dementia, but rather, they change.
She expresses so beautifully the ways that what used to be spaces of pure uncomplicated joy are now sometimes tinged with the complicated flavor of grief. In spite of these difficulties, she says mutuality and joy are still at the heart of what they’re celebrating.
“There’s no denying that the holidays are different now. But different doesn’t mean empty. It doesn’t mean broken. It doesn’t mean devoid of meaning. There is still connection. There is still love. There is still joy to be had.” – Emma Heming Willis
Raising awareness for the grief Emma Heming Willis encourages people to recognize grief as a part of the caregiving experience. She states, “Grief is not a sign of ingratitude. It’s a sign of love.” She knows the experience of grief extends beyond bereavement from death. Just as important is the emotional toll, the everyday trials and frustratingly vague defeats that caregivers endure.
When the family shared news of Bruce Willis’ diagnosis with aphasia in March 2022, it became a fulcrum moment changing everything about their day-to-day lives. Emma’s candid reflections resonate powerfully with those currently facing the same struggles. She brings harsh truth to the complexity of caregiving in tender moments.
“I’ve learned that the holidays don’t disappear when dementia enters your life. They change.” – Emma Heming Willis
